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The Price of Unforgiveness

Updated: Oct 26, 2023


What happens when tempers flare? Who determines who's right and who needs to apologize?

What are the long-term effects of ongoing strife and resentment?


Unforgiveness occurs when we are distressed or perturbed by others, and we find it difficult to release the event(s) from our conversations, minds, and thoughts. We may be vexed with many calls, text messages, social media posts, or in-person visits. Interpersonal interactions may be tense. Hence, as one thinks about these encounters - one is reluctant to let go of past pains. (Unforgiveness and your health - Counselling Directory (counselling-directory.org.uk).


Note, that unforgiveness can take a physical toll through increased blood pressure, pulse rate or stress levels, lowered immune response, chronic pain, and even cancer. So, is unforgiveness worth the effects that one's body bears?


Often, we think that holding a grudge impacts the other person. It does not. It's like pointing a finger outward. Multiple fingers point back at the individual.


Unforgiveness is sneaky. It shows up as sarcasm in discussions. It backs bites (talks maliciously about someone who is not present). Reviling (criticizing in an angry or abusive manner) is another characteristic of unforgiveness. As one listens, you can hear the issues festering in the chest. Unforgiving people can be cunning; one feels the venom.


However, there's a better way! Proverbs 20:3 reminds us that it is an honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Think about overcoming evil with good, Romans 12:21. Why is this important? This allows us to live in peace and avoid revenge. (the action of inflicting harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at the other person's hands).


I am saying that we need to give an earnest focus to resolve issues. This may not happen in one setting. It does need prayer that we all can dwell with a unified mindset, Psalm 133:1: "Behold how good and pleasant it is for brothers [spouses, parents, and children; stepparents and stepchildren; siblings, neighbors, bosses and workers; business partners, government officials, teachers, children, parents, administrators, pastors, and congregations] to dwell in unity. I challenge us to think about the potential consequences of road rage before we give the finger.


Count the personal costs of unforgiveness in your life or the lives of family and friends. Choose compromise. I didn't say this would be easy. Yet, it is more productive than the alternative overall. I release grace for resolutions and compromise, in Jesus Christ's name with praise!!!



Calls to Action:

  1. Seek resolution. Ask God for strategies to make the final decision.

  2. Make another effort to bolster a long-term relationship today. Yes, this means we must swallow our pride.

  3. Think about the relief you'll have gained.

  4. Read "Fully Persuaded Faith's" first chapter. It highlights how resolutions occurred. "Live Abundantly" supports the business successes available when one collaborates. Find them at: https://www.marilynnjames.com.



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